Good Hair and Bad Behavior

I know I've blogged quite a bit about appearance, from Sarah Palin's glasses to Oprah's affinity for the Dove campaign... but I am here to say that I can recognize that beauty is often only skin deep.

In fact, I have a new theory to pass along to the blogosphere, and it's merely an extension on the idea that beauty is only skin deep. My theory is: "If a man has a full head of hair, he's up to no good." It is a theory that is full of Tiger Lily potential: A full head of hair = a lack of character. Here's what I'd like to show as my evidence:

Blagojevich. Wire tapping accuses Rod of selling Obama's Senate seat to the highest bidder. His reply, "I will fight this, I will fight this, I will fight this." He gets away with everything; he has good hair. Who can blame him for being defiant?

Clinton. He did not have sexual relations with that woman; he's got such great hair, he's just can't help it. There must be a reason people called him "Slick Willy."

John Edwards. Just too beautiful and smiley. He was so good-looking and suave, I knew something wasn't right.

Tim Tebow-- I don't know why, maybe because I'm an Oklahoma fan, but I really feel like something is off with Tim, and we know it's not his hair. He's just too perfect. Mark my words. Goodbye Gators, hello NFL and all the no-good possibilities.

Madoff. Now, I know this is a stretch, but look at how he is growing out his hair in the back. He must know the advantage of good hair and has decided to grow it out for his trial.

Maybe this is just a coincidence, or maybe we should start being weary of men with good hair. I'm just reporting my theory. And much like my theory that the odd numbered years are better than the even numbered ones, (yahoo! here comes 2009) there will be exceptions to the rule. Maybe it's just a coincidence that all of these "bad boys" have such great hair. But maybe not. Tiger Lily to good hair. It just brings about bad behavior.

Irreplaceable?... I think not.

Move over Beyoncé, here comes Sasha Fierce.

For those of you that don't know, I feel in love with Beyoncé Knowles on my Honeymoon, November 2006. (She is second only to my one true love, Elvis, not counting Matt.) Between sitting at the beach, eating ice cream and lounging by the pool, I found some time to watch a video-countdown where I was introduced to the Number #1 Hit Song: "Irreplaceable." I immediately became a huge Beyoncé fan, bought her album, put "Bootylicious" on my ipod and even rented "Dream Girls."

Following our introduction, I became an admirer of her coolness. She had style, she kept her private life private, and she dated Jay-Z, who with, coincidentally, I share a birthday. I followed her every move through People and was so excited when those two crazy kids got married! It was a beautiful ceremony where she asked all of the guests to wear white-- ultra style points to B.

Then, this past Saturday night, I cozied into bed a a little later than planned, realizing that I was missing Saturday Night Live where Beyoncé would be the guest musician. I only caught her last song performance, but I felt like maybe I was missing something. Maybe in the introduction, she explained why she was wearing a Rockette-swimsuit outfit. Maybe she explained why one of her back-up dancers was painfully white and had no rhythm. Maybe she explained why the "new" song, "Single Ladies. (Put a Ring on It)" sounded just like five of her other songs from the B-Day album with different words. I turned off the set and went to bed, confused and a little worried about her lack of taste and judgement.

(The outfits look just like this, without the hat. To get a better idea, you'll have to watch the hilarious spoof SNL did of her "Single Ladies" video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TegjiG2mrzI)

But, like all of us who are in love, I let it slip my mind and went on to church the next day without giving it another thought.

Then, Monday morning, I got the text message from my friend, Carrie: "Beyoncé has a new alter ego named Sasha Fierce. Watch out. Just thought since she was your hero, you should know."

Devastated. Apparently, when I wasn't paying attention, Beyoncé decided to release the album, "I Am... Sasha Fierce," which debuts tomorrow. She explained to NBC that Sasha is her alter ego that is more fun, more sensual, more aggressive. How could she go Garth Brooks on me? After I was so loyal? I even paid money to see Dream Girls! Tiger Lily to Beyoncé, or Sasha, or whatever. Right, Irreplaceable.

If she can't bounce back from this, I might have to find a new super-star to obsess about. Rihanna is dating Chris Brown and she has a poodle. She would be a good rebound.

Ok, so let's be real. I'm buying Sasha's album tomorrow. I dedicate this TL to Carrie. Thanks for the heads-up.

Non-Lily Blog Tagging

My sister blog tagged me, and because I'm always game to talk about myself, I gladly accept!

Here are the rules:
1. Link to the person who tagged you (Reagan's blog, "Controlled Chaos" is already linked on my site )
2. Post the rules on your blog
3. Write six random thoughts about yourself
4. Tag six people at the end of your post
5. Let each person know he/she has been tagged
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is posted

Six random things about me: (Keeping with some of the question's themes from previous blog-tags)

1. I don't like beer at all but will drink it to be cool. For instance, I will have a beer at a sports bar if no one else will join me with something different. (I'd rather have a glass of wine any day!)
2. I am a sugar-aholic and go through phases with candy-obsessions. Right now, I'm on junior mints.
3. I love, and will wear my pink lipstick whether it's in style or not.
4. My husband is a better cook than me. Although this is no revelation.
5. I'm a pro-napper and could sleep at any time of day without missing a wink later that night.
6. I have three recurring dreams: 1. running line-drills for Coach Loucks, having too much bubble-gum in my mouth, choking on it and pulling it out, and one where I can swim through the air, breast-stroke style.

Ok, so I blog tag:
Jessica Linville
Meredith Porbeck
Kerry Boulware
(Do I have to ask 6, I don't know anyone else who would want to do it!)

Planning without the Plan

(Just because I needed a picture and I just love Mad Men.)

In the last few weeks, I have really been evaluating my plans for 2009. I've been thinking a lot about my family, my career and even what television shows will be on the horizon and subsequently on our DVR. Being a planner, I don't wait until late December, it's just too late to map out a course, and I've never been one to procrastinate.

What dawned on me this week is that "planning" and "the plan" don't really go hand-in-hand. Instead, things are really out of your control. Honestly, for all of my planning, how could I have possibly planned for my 2008?:

• First, I changed jobs. I now work at an advertising agency, leaving a sales career behind.
• I attended my 10-year high school reunion.
• I changed my email address. This is huge for me, and so, it makes the list. Abandoning RLSooner and moving forward with a more grown-up, name/last name email address was my official inauguration into adult-career-hood.
• I've gone back to school part-time.
• I've traveled to New Orleans, Atlanta, Tallahassee, Chicago, Napa Valley, Kansas City, and Hawaii.
• I put my foot in my mouth a number of times.
• I watched and became enamored with the first two seasons of Mad Men.
• I joined facebook, started a blog, and became addicted to a blackberry.

So my new plan (because once a planner, always a planner) is to try and be organized, have a purpose that is bigger than all of this, and see what happens.

Tiger Lily to planning, because it's just an exercise in organization that has nothing to do with the actual "plan." I'm pretty sure that Someone Else has things securely under control.

Rude and Oblivious. A double-whammy.

(If this sign could just spontaneously pop-up out of thin air up at the appropriate time!)

I've been traveling a lot lately and really enjoyed the post that my sister-in-law provided on my brother's blog, "Something Clever." She outlines the many things that bug her about traveling.

Please read her post, it's hilarious and you'll get worked up even reading the list.

It got me thinking that, I too am annoyed at people's rude behavior that is sometimes just plain annoying. My biggest complaint from my recent travels includes people talking at volume level 15 (on a scale of 1-10) on their cell phones. You know these people. You are sitting, say, in an airport coffee shop or searching for the next issue of People to accompany you on a flight, and the digitized version of "My Humps" blairs out from a fellow-customer's cell phone. She answers.

You are then treated to your fellow-customer's 10 minute exchange about who they saw at the party last night, what time their flight will land, how many times they've gone to the bathroom that day. It's crazy. And what is most annoying about the whole thing, is that they have no idea that anyone else is annoyed. They are having a blast talking to their friends and co-workers and don't have a clue that they are being rude.

So, this leads me to an article I read on CNN's website today, "Are you rude? Maybe you should think again." This article showcased a recent episode of Oprah. Our all-knowing, mother-of-everything-good, expert in every field of spirituality and reason, Oprah, talked to Jerry Sienfleld about his biggest pet peeve-- a lack of civility.

While Oprah reports that 80% of Americans say that rudeness is a national problem, 99% of those people who took the survey said that they are never rude. Tiger Lily. People think that being rude is a problem and they don't even recognize that they are being rude. It's rude, people!

Because I am so easily annoyed by others, I went to Oprah's site to take the quiz, Are You Rude? I'll be honest and say that I probably didn't score in the realm reserved for Mother Teresa. Instead, I was guilty of quite a few of my own acts of rudeness. Some of which include:

1. Talking on the phone while someone is serving me. (Think about when you get groceries.)
2. Interrupting a face-to-face conversation with a non-urgent cell phone call.

3. Typing an email while talking on the phone. (I at least try to make it where the caller can't hear the clicks...)

4. Guilty. But she's a small dog!

Those are just some examples. Please don't take this opportunity to point out my particular rude offenses, but feel free to add to the list of rude behaviors. Maybe we can just raise awareness. Knowing is half the battle. Tiger Lily to rude people who are totally oblivious sometimes. Myself included.

Four Eyes

With all the buzz around Sarah Palin's glasses, I decided that I would like to share some of my own observations about cool eye-wear. I want to preface my entry by saying that this is not a political blog, and I just want to discuss the glasses!

What intrigues me, is that Sarah Palin is the only person in history to wear cool glasses, and people still think she is dumb. Tiger Lily. I have never before encountered such a phenomenon. Much like a British accent, glasses make people smarter, nerdier, more brilliant, more creative. For example:

1. Benjamin Franklin glasses. Isn't he the one that invented bi-focals? Electricity? The United States... something like that, but really smart.

2. The "coke-bottle" glasses. These glasses are worn by a skinny kid and are probably broken in the middle, held together with a piece of white tape . You know this kid is a nerd. And by nerd, I mean rocket-scientist later in life.

3. The 1950's glasses. You know the ones. Every grandad had a pair. Even the smarty pants lawyer in JFK wore them.

4. Librarian glasses. These are probably bifocals and are worn on the tip of the nose. Not only is this librarian smart, but she is mean. This might be a thought for Palin...

5. Tina Fey glasses. She may be the person that made glasses chic. She wasn't necessarily a nerd, but you thought her comedy writing was that much wittier when she delivered her 'Weekend Updates' from behind these stylish specs.

6. Ad guy's glasses: I work in an ad agency and I noticed at a conference in Kansas City two weeks ago that all the agency's owners and creative directors wore cool glasses. Without them, you might have thought they were bankers. With them, Ta-Da!-- creative genius. I bet this guy's in advertising.

Now enter Sarah Palin glasses. They just haven't had the same smartening effect that so many other trusted spectacles have in the past. Maybe she should try a British accent. Tiger Lily to Sarah Palin's glasses.

Little Rock Traffic Engineers

No, this is not a picture of the digital traffic boards recently erected in Little Rock. But they might as well be in Chinese.

It has been a while since I've posted, mainly because work has been a little busy, school has revved back up, the new fall fashions are out and football season is in full swing! This brings me to the latest Tiger Lily.

A few months ago, the metropolis of Little Rock erected 3 new digital traffic boards on our Interstate 630 thoroughfare, which is a whopping 7 miles long. I take 630 every morning and evening to and from work. Well, the Traffic Engineers of our great city decided that it would be a good use of tax payer dollars to put up these 3 digital boards-- and I still haven't quite figured out their real purpose.

At first, I thought, "Oh, these boards will let us know of traffic accidents so that we can choose an alternate route." However, they have never reported any accidents on the board, that I have seen, and even if they did that would be absurd. This strip of highway is only 7 miles long, by the time you reach one of those boards that might tell you there has been an accident, you are already stuck and will probably be past the accident before you find an exit to get off the highway. Ok, so they are not there to report traffic accidents.

Next, I noticed one morning that the boards were flashing, "Ozone Action Day." What a great idea Little Rock Traffic Engineers! Alert the public to the fact that it is an "Ozone Action Day" to encourage the citizens of Little Rock to carpool, take the bus or ride their bikes. Brilliant, only it's too late. We are already driving to work.

Then I thought, "Ah ha, they will use those digital boards for Arkansas football!" Now for those of you that are not Arkansans, although the Razorbacks call Fayetteville home, they play two games a year in Little Rock. This always jams up the traffic on 630, and although this is something that only happens on 2 of 365 days of the entire year, maybe the Engineers thought that this would be money well spent for Razorback fans. (We are a bit fanatical about those Hogs.) But, alas, the digital boards were not used to direct non-football traffic away from the stadium exit, instead, portable digital boards were brought in while the above mentioned, 3 permanent digital boards were benched. They were turned off that Saturday.

I don't know why this surprises me. I have lived in Little Rock for most of my life and have seen the brilliance of these Little Rock Traffic Engineers. Take the speed humps that they erected in every neighborhood in town to slow down traffic. Yes, I said "humps." This is what the city calls them on their Web site. They are humps because they are much wider than a traditional speed bump. Ironically, I can remember ramping these in high school because they don't exactly do much damage if you take them at high speed.

Then, the Engineers put in a number of "roundabouts" in Pleasant Valley Neighborhood. (After the speed humps did not have their desired effects.) These Little Rock "roundabouts" aren't exactly of London quality. This is because the Engineers did not increase the size of the intersections to create the "roundabouts," but instead placed a big concrete slab right in the middle with a sign that indicated that you had to drive around this concrete slab. You are a skilled driver if you can avoid hitting the curb while navigating these speed-deterrents.

No, I haven't gone "Ron-Paul" but sometimes I wonder why our city government is allowed to make these crazy decisions. Every time I get my paycheck and watch my precious money go to this great state, I start to wonder what it would be like if they had a lot less of our tax dollars to spend? Maybe a land without speed humps, roundabouts and useless, tiger-lilied digital traffic boards.