The RSS Feed/ The Devil

I am taking a class this summer about some of the new technology out there to help us in our quest for information, our ability to collaborate, to be efficient, blah blah blah. My group decided to investigate these crazy little things called "RSS feeds." Until this class, I have been living a blissfully (albeit ignorant) "RSS-free" life. Somehow I was completely able to ignore this:

Be warned: If you read on, you too will know about:

And I'm here to tell you, there's no going back! Just like Neo, you swallow that pill and your life is changed forever. You will begin noticing them on almost every Web site you visit. And you'll click on them. You will subscibe to something like GoogleReader to gather all of these RSS Feeds and you will begin talking in code: My feeds, these aggregators, your podcast, Joe's blog...

So if you are confused about what all of these terms mean, please take a look at the following wiki page. http://coolgroup.wikispaces.com/Sarah's+research+on+RSS The author, Sarah, does a great job of explaining what "RSS" really is. Here is an excerpt from her page:

"You can think of RSS as TiVo (or DVR) for your computer. TiVo and DVR work through your cable television box to record your favorite programs. They recognize when your shows are on and automatically save them so you can watch at your convenience. RSS functions in much the same way. An RSS aggregator monitors your favorite websites, blogs, and podcasts for new content and collects the new information for you to view at any time. Rather than having to visit each of your favorite sites to see what’s new, you can visit your RSS aggregator (also known as an RSS reader) to see all of the new content from all of your favorite sites. Check out this video from YouTube for a great introductory tutorial on using RSS:"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0klgLsSxGsU&feature=email

I have decided to give The RSS Feed a Tiger Lily. For something that was supposed to help simplify my life, it has now overwhelmed it. This little award looks so much like an RSS Feed that I want to click on it.

Take a look at my friend's blog posting about Facebook. http://www.angryczeck.com/2008/05/facebook-has-me-by-throat.html Please don't go to this blog if you are faint-of-heart, but I had to link to it, because similarly, I too am addicted. I am so addicted that I'm mad at my husband every day because he refuses to join. People probably think I'm lying when I've posted my Relationship status as "Married." In a pathetic effort to prove his existence I've posted numerous pictures of him. Also, I obsess day and night about whether or not he's read my most recent blog entry. In fact, he should set up an RSS Feed of my blog. Of course, he'll have to set up GoogleReader first. Now re-reading what I've just written, realizing how crazy that sounds, I remember why I married him in the first place, what a wise man.

So maybe this should be a Tiger Lily for all technology. Maybe I should award myself a Tiger Lily for being so completely taken in by all of this. But in my defence I'm not the only one. One of my old high school classmates, David, recently wrote (on Facebook of course) that he was going around the house naming everything an "i" something before Apple could. For instance, he had his iToaster hooked up, was watching his iTV while listening to his iRadio... you get the picture. This was hilarious to me because it is so true. It's inevitable-- technology is taking over. Pretty soon we won't be able to carry on regular f2f conversations. And I'll have to go to sites like www.netlingo.com/emailsh.cfm just to make it through life. 4COL.

Well, enough of this. TTFN. I've got to go check my GoogleReader. Tiger Lily to Technology.

Oh Oprah

I know that as soon as you saw her face, a lot of you out there got really nervous. "Oh no, she's going to make fun of Oprah." Don't worry, I'll only make fun of her a little bit. I'll just give Oprah a small Tiger Lily.

So just to get this out of the way, please know, I like Oprah. I like to watch her show, buy her endorsed books, build her endorsed bears, drive her give-away Pontiacs, aspire to her perfect spirituality, give as generously, and look as beautiful-- inside and out. Isn't she lovely? (Que Stevie Wonder. I think Oprah would like that.)

For Mother's Day, I bought my mother a subscription to O, Oprah's magazine. I was excited about it. It was one of those gifts you give and hope to borrow later. (How un-Oprah of me.) Anyway, my mom and I started talking about the fact that Oprah is on every single cover of her own magazine. And for some reason, this really bothered us. Isn't Oprah supposed to be supremely perfect? And isn't humility one of the attributes of a perfect person?

Well, I'm here to tell you what this is all about. Humility and godliness go hand-in-hand. And I don't mean the Gideon-type godliness. I mean the television-type. The brand-type. The Oprah-type. Oprah is her own brand. With out her name or her face the Oprah brand wouldn't be a brand at all. Her name and face have brand power. And by power, you know I mean money. Dollars. And lots of them.

Advertising Age wrote an article "How to get your brand on 'Oprah'" in its June 2008 issue. The article explains that "she is--by the estimate of PR pros who besiege her producers for a chance to have their brands reflect the warm light of Oprah's presence--the very pinnacle of product publicity." See, she is a goddess. She even has a "warm light." She is the goddess of product publicity and because her face and name carry such weight, she has to keep them front-and-center.

So who can blame her? This television goddess puts a book on the New York Times Best-seller List, boosts Dolly Parton's CD sales by 70% and puts Bourdreaux's Butt Paste on the map. And she is philanthropic too. She builds schools in South Africa, gives millions to charity and even has time for her top-rated "Oprah's Big-Give" on ABC.

I've just decided that my idea of "godliness" is a little less "capitalistic," I mean, complicated. Here are a few other Tiger-Lilish contradictions I see with Oprah:

• She endorses Dove's "Campaign for Real Beauty." (A campaign by Ogilvy & Mather that I absolutely love) But every time you turn around, there is Oprah looking amazing. You wouldn't ever catch Oprah in her underware, on purpose.
  
  
  
  
• She endorses Barack Obama. Now listen up! This is not political. I'm just pointing out the fact, that for a woman who won't marry a man, bashes men and is the voice of the middle-class woman, isn't it a little ironic that she would endorse a male over a female candidate? For crying out loud, her July issue of O has an article, "Men! What are They Thinking?!"
  
• She endorses everything from butt paste to books. And then has shows about how to de-clutter.
  

But, alas, everybody loves her. And despite these contradictions, I love her too. Although I really love watching Ellen dance and at least she can joke about her endorsements. Watch out Oprah, here she comes. Enjoy your little Tiger Lily.

Ba da ba ba baaa, I'm lovn' it!

I’m lovin’ the fact that McDonald’s is acting like this idea of chicken for breakfast is their own!

About two weeks ago, McDonald’s Corporation introduced their brand new, exciting, revolutionary, non-conformist, out-of-the-box menu items: the chicken biscuit and chicken sandwich! I can’t believe it. I’ve never, ever thought about having chicken for breakfast, or even in a sandwich. I’m so glad their new ad campaign has really embraced this “Let’s Hear it for Non-conformity!” idea.

Well hold on. Chick-Fil-A Executives are probably wondering the same thing I am: Didn’t Chick-Fil-A introduce these yummy chicken biscuits in 1984? Tiger Lily.

Now I know that some could argue that McDonald’s revolutionized fast-food chicken. They introduced the chicken “McNuget” in the 1950’s and then rolled it up in a tortilla about two years ago and had an instant success: the Snack Wrap. But for them to claim the chicken biscuit and chicken sandwich as their own is totally ludicrous. They didn’t even put their own twist on the sandwich. The biscuit is sans condiments, butter only. And the sandwich has butter and pickles only. How original.

McDonald’s executives are simply following the trends. And following the money. According to the analysts who watch this stuff, Americans are eating more chicken because of its perceived healthiness and its versatility. (This is also Tiger Lilyish in nature.) First, we think that this new fried chicken sandwich of only 420 calories is healthier than the good old cheeseburger. Oh, and it is! It will save us from an extra 20 calories. Secondly, we like chicken better than beef because we’re bored with beef. Chicken can be rolled into a tortilla, minced up and congealed into a nugget and even diced for a salad.

In fact, this trend to chicken isn’t new, McDonald’s has been moving in this direction for over five years. The last big burger roll out was in 2001: the Big N’ Tasty. But since 2003, they have added something chicken to their menu every year.

So come on. “Let’s hear it for non-conformity.” Why don’t they just say, “Think outside the bun!”? Oh, wait.

Maybe it’s just because I like to cheer for the underdog, or maybe it’s because I adore their cleaver marketing campaign with the cows. But I think that McDonald’s shouldn’t use the tagline, “Let’s hear it for non-conformity” because that’s exactly what they’re doing: conforming. They’re stealing the chicken biscuit!

Please, when you get hungry for breakfast tomorrow and you plan to drive through for a little fried chicken, don't conform, go to Chic-Fil-A.

Clothes are getting jacked and Lindsay has sticky fingers... Tiger Lily time.

My apologies to my friend Sarah who nominated Ms. Lindsay Lohan for a Tiger Lily weeks ago when the trail was still hot. Or at least the mink coat she was wearing was hot. It seems that Lindsay has expensive tastes on a rehab-drained budget. But stealing? Really? Enough said. Tiger Lily.

Sephora and JC Penny

Now this is rich! JC Penney and Sephora have joined forces to bring the Sephora brand of beauty into JC Penney stores. No, I take that back. This is not rich, this is so cheap. My market place of beauty, my plethora of fragrance, my haven of skin care and hair products has been contaminated by the stench of Jaque Penne. Thus, I now award Sephora and JC Penney their very own Tiger Lilies.

The last time I remember being excited about anything "JC Penney" was the Christmas catalogue I thumbed through as a kid in 1984. With my red marker in hand, I couldn't wait to circle all the toys that I thought Santa might bring. But as an adult, the JC Penney brand doesn't exactly bring forth that good "butterfly effect." Instead, it actually induces the Ashton Kutcher type of "Butterfly Effect" and if you haven't seen the movie, trust me, Ashton didn't like the way this one made him feel.

Now, I've tried to be objective. I've tried to sort through some "Worthington" and "Arizona Jean Company" threads. But it's just not my bag. Maybe I'd rather a snooty salesperson ignore me at an expensive boutique than search for the one JC Penney salesperson that is taking her lunch break at 3:15. It's just not a place of style.

But Sephora. Oh, Sephora. Now there's a brand with style. It's an oasis of beauty in the hustle and bustle of the retail world. It's a clean, fresh, hip pink-and-black haven of refreshment where you can sample any type of makeup or perfume that you could ever think of. Customers enter and hope prevails. A hope that you will finally find the concealer that will cover your sun-spot, a hope that you will smell that perfect scent your neighbor always wears, the hope that they will actually have the Nar's lipstick. It's that butterfly effect that you once had for the JC Penney catalogue. Sephora even sounds like euphoria. All women love it.

Now enter your local JC Penney and you will see how this union of style and Arizona Jean Company is such a "Tiger Lily." I had to go see for myself. Had this really happened? Had they really put a Sephora in my local, Stack-and-Rack, Baby's R Us! laden shopping center? Sadly, yes. And although it was as clean and fresh as the first Sephora I discovered in London, it was such an imitation. It was a fourth of the size of a normal Sephora and only carried the lower-end brands. When I inquired with the (very helpful and nice actually) sales lady, she told me that they did not carry the "Nors" (this is how she pronounced it) lipstick.

Disaster. I don't know if the style of Sephora is strong enough to overcome these new surroundings. Maybe there's a reason that JC Penney's old tag line, "It's All Inside" resonated with me so much. Because maybe it should all stay inside.

But maybe Sephora will allow it's style to ooze through our local JC Pennies. After all, isn't that exactly what the brand needs? Their new tag line, "Every Day Matters" is exactly right. Every day that they are still in business, they have the opportunity to infuse the store with style. In 2006, they partnered with Sephora. In 2008, Ralph Lauren himself launched his "American Living" brand that is now in stores nationwide. Maybe that hopeful feeling that every woman gets when she enters a Sephora will become characteristic of JC Penney.

Here's to hoping. Congrats JC Penney/Sephora on your Tiger Lilies.

John Mayer- Inagural Winner

I would like to bestow John Mayer with my inaugural T. Lily.

His songs speak to my soul and it's not just the lyrics. His smooth guitar tones have evolved from pop to jazz from one album to the next and his writing from love to politics and back again. It's his raw talent that I admired during a concert about a year ago that endeared him to me, much in the same way that I've come to admire the King.

John understands women-- and without sounding like I'm in the middle of hero-worship, herein is where the lovely contradiction lies. I like to think myself somewhat of a scholar. I think. I read. I watch CNN and Fox objectively. I listen to the lyrics of a song, I'm interested in what the politicians have to say about health care, I read more than just People. (Although that's a good one and a must-read.) And John gets me. So how does he become romantically involved with the following?:

Jennifer Love Hewitt
Jessica Simpson
Minka Kelly
Cameron Diaz
Pussy Cat Doll, Nicole Scherzinger
Jennifer Anniston

Now, before all you Rachel fans act like I just called Emma ugly, please understand that some of these women (Jessica Simpson and the Pussy Cat Doll) deserve a few more exclamations than the others. But I don't see any doctors or poets on this list. And I just really, strongly dislike Cameron Diaz. She just defines "ditz." Now I know http://www.urbandictionary.com/ defines Ditz with the example of Paris Hilton, literally, but Cameron could qualify.

See, she even looks like she's about to run into someone. Ditz.

And then there's the 2006 article in Rolling Stone where John gives his exclusive interview on the topic, "How To Be John Mayer's Girlfriend." Here's what he says:

1. “Be really careful with me on the phone. Distance makes the brain grow more maniacal.”
2. “Twenty-four-hour phone-sex assistance. If there’s a cute girl in the front row, I’m gonna run offstage and call you.”
3. “You have to run every single fantasy you’ve ever had through me. You’ll never cheat. You see a cute guy at the gym, I’ll be him. Or we’ll get him. I don’t care.”

John, that's more than three. Come on.


For a man that understands how a father needs to protect a daughter, it makes me wonder: is this because he knows what kind of guys are out there? I might have imagined meeting John and having a deep conversation about happiness or even who he knows that buzzes like Neon. I'm sure it's a Pussy Cat Doll. Gag.

Seen here thinking about how his next song will be about saving us all from high gas prices, or just checking out the hot babe taking his picture?

But I'm still moved by his music. I wanted to run for office after Waiting for the World to Change. And I'll buy his next album and I'll go to another concert. I agree with Time that he could be one of the World's 100 most influential people. (of 2007) And maybe he is a "New Guitar God."(Rolling Stone, February 2007). He's lovely-- and his taste in women shocks me. A lovely contradiction.

Congrats John.